A Letter to an Expectant Father

18 April 2020

(38 weeks exactly)

Dear Let,

You ready yet? Today could be the day as I have reached my 38th week of gestation, the day my OB says I can safely deliver Galen via a caesarian section. I have been experiencing irregular contractions in the past two weeks. Galen has been keeping us in suspense, but for good reason. He wants to be as ready as he could be before meeting his excited family. Let’s see if he could wait one more day to meet our schedule.

As I am wheeled into the operating room on Monday, please stay calm and fervently pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby boy. I derive my strength and courage fully knowing that you’ll just be right outside the OR praying for me and Galen. I have been able to put off my anxieties in all the nine plus months because of your steady love and support. If there is one thing good that has come out of this COVID-imposed lockdown, it is having you by my side 24/7 in the last weeks of my pregnancy. 

You’ve been nothing but the perfect, supportive husband and expectant father. I appreciate that you would always indulge my requests for a back massage. You would also not complain when I would ask you to prepare me a glass of milk well into the night.

We never planned to have a third child. In fact, we were already coping well by ourselves without a helper, thinking we could keep our life simpler with just the four of us. What a shock it was finding out I was pregnant. You said it took a long time before the thought of me pregnant could sink in. “But how?,” you asked.😀

Galen shook our established routines. I was forced to stay home for almost half of the pregnancy. And you were forced to actively search for house-help again. Then came the lockdown, and you were placed into a position you never thought would fall upon you. For the first time, you had to do grocery shopping and take over managing the household. You’re no longer just a provider but you’ve become a caregiver and a household manager as well. I have been for the most part just in bed, practically useless, all thanks to you! It seems like you have paid extra for all the times you missed my prenatal appointments when I was pregnant with Garrett and Gabee. Now, I have that privilege of wailing in pain should labor come early and be brought to the hospital in a car. I took a jeepney to the hospital the night I felt uterine contractions with Garrett and an FX the day that I felt Gabee was pushing her way out. You were traveling at both instances and had to drive home when I was already in labor. Well, Galen is lucky to have you just waiting, with your own hospital bag packed and ready. That gives me such a relief despite the situation we are in due to the threat of COVID. 

With God’s constant grace, we will come through this safe and more blessed, with Galen giving us hope that all will be well. Galen is our silver lining amid COVID-19. We can only hope that the world would be somehow better, its people more mindful, caring and kinder when we go past this pandemic.  Keep the faith and stay safe.

Love, 

Cess

Idle Thoughts

4 April 2020 Journal Entry

Today I count nine months or 36 full weeks of carrying my third baby (Galen). Just a week from now and Galen will be considered full–term, ready to be born. If my delivery goes as planned, I will have Galen in my arms on April 20th of the year 2020 -- lots of 20’s in his birthday! 👦

How are you? Manila is on its third week of the COVID-19 lockdown. As of this writing, there are a million confirmed cases and almost 60,000 deaths globally per the WHO. The Philippines’ cases number 3,018, dramatically up from the 6 cases reported on March 6, less than a month ago. Singapore, which was one of the early countries to report a case after China, has been managing well, controlling the spread of the virus through mass testing, isolating the confirmed cases and seriously doing contact-tracing since January, but yesterday, it acknowledged that its COVID positive cases are increasing in number via local transmission; its Prime Minister addressed the nation to convey its plan to roll out their version of a lockdown – full home-based learning, and only establishments providing essential services will be allowed to continue to operate next week. Many countries have caved into the lockdown trend to contain the spread of the virus.

The coronavirus originated in China in late 2019 and has spread globally in the first 3 months of the new year. Now, we see that other countries have surpassed China’s number of positive cases with the US reporting triple the number of positive cases than that of China at 240,000 plus versus 82,000 plus. Italy and Spain have also exceeded China’s number with each having over 100,000 cases. China’s strong hold of its people has spelled the difference with the containment of the virus. Assuming these countries all have resources at their disposal, China has leveraged its communist party-led state to effectively control its people’s movements thereby effectively containing the spread of the virus. Compare that with what’s happening in the US where you have a president first saying that the threat of the coronavirus to the US was a hoax and that it would soon go away, resulting in federal states stepping up efforts to contain the virus without a clear national directive. Just when the confirmed cases were starting to spiral in number last month, many US citizens went about as they pleased, emptied grocery shelves, and either stayed home or continued with their routines.

Each one of us needs to take measures to control the COVID-19 spread. Experts say that the COVID-19 impact is nothing they’ve seen in this lifetime. IMF stated that the world has entered into an economic recession. Until a vaccine is developed, tested, and distributed, we face a grim year full of uncertainties. Curtailing workers’ movement leaves little that can be achieved. Production and manufacturing in all sectors, even food/agriculture, have been greatly scaled down with some grounded to a halt for the time being.

Hotels are empty. Cruise ships, except those still at sea with no ports accepting them, will remain anchored. There’s no telling when people would start traveling again. Meantime, airports will remain practically empty. The skies will remain blue and quiet, and the roads less noisy. For the first time in urban areas, we get to open our windows to let the sun and some fresh air in. We can’t for now fully enjoy the sunsets where they are most beautiful to look at.

Amusement parks, movie theaters, concert halls, museums, galleries, and libraries will have to maintain their upkeep so they’re kept oiled and dusted, ready to open again when lockdowns are lifted. Our favorite hangout, the malls, are off limits save for their grocery shops. We eat in, we share more meals with family, more time to share stories and enjoy light banters with the people we care the most (if we are lucky that we are locked in with them), and that's a great thing. It's not all bad after all.

Summer break in the Philippines for most students has started early but offers not a lot of excitement as kids are bound to stay at home doing the same things over and over each day (enduring the heat of summer with hardly any reprieve to run free in the sun), missing their classmates and friends, and running out of creative ideas to spend time, thus, resorting to using their gadgets to keep them busy and entertained. What can parents do? Eventually, we relax our rules on gadget use and screen time, we get tired of reprimanding our children, and let them be to some extent. We each have our quiet times, coping, waiting until this is over.

Many mothers these days must be searching the Internet for recipes to cook to excite palates that have grown tired of sinigang, adobo, and menudo. Housemaids are itching to get their free days away from households they serve.

We all itch to go back to our old ways, to gain back our freedom to move, to plan our days without restrictions. But I, for one, don’t see that day happening soon. We are in this lockdown for another stretch of time. And when that day comes when the lockdown is lifted, we will be well advised to carefully come out of our homes, restart our routines fully aware that the virus remains and that we can easily contract it. Let’s be extra careful and take care of our health more than ever.

Getting into the Philippine High School for the Arts

Dear Gabee, 

I was the first to find out the exciting news that you qualified to study at the Philippine High School for the Arts, the country’s prestigious arts school. I shrieked with utmost surprise and joy! I called out to your dad to break the very happy news. You were still asleep. I woke you up and startled you with the greatest surprise of all. “Gabee, you did it!”

Wow! Amazing! God is amazing. He heard your fervent prayers to study at PHSA! You wanted to get out of Poveda. You didn’t settle well there, or just could not blend well with the Poveda students. Truly, this is an answered prayer. I couldn’t be more proud of you, and more thankful to God for his amazing blessing.

I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t believe you were gonna make it. Well, the chances were too slim! Only 7 of you made the cut for visual arts field. That’s out of more than 100 young visual artists who auditioned from Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao! But I was secretly rooting for you, holding on to what little chance you had. I would check the PHSA website every day to check if I would see your name there.

Congratulations, Gabee, my sweetheart! I pray you soar high and truly discover the artist in you!

Love,
Mom

Pregnancy in the Time of COVID-19

Pregnant at 44 - 28 March 2020 journal entry
(35 weeks pregnant)

Metro Manila is on its 14th day since implementing the government’s lockdown policy to contain the spread of the novel corona virus 2019 (COVID 2019). Today, I hit my 35th week of my third pregnancy. Yesterday was the first time I got out of the house since the lockdown was imposed. My husband (Let) and I went for my prenatal check-up which included unavoidable trips to the Philippine General Hospital and Manila Medical Center, first for laboratory tests and then for a complete fetal exam. PGH is just across the private clinic of my OB hence it was my only option for doing the lab tests; Manila Medical Center is my only option to do the fetal scan, courtesy of my OB‘s classmate who was very kind to have the ultrasound room opened just to see me and examine my baby. The Women’s Health Center where they do ultrasound scans is closed as is the one in the Medical City where I usually went for scans and other tests to check on my baby’s well-being. I have had quite a number of scans since the first one that confirmed I was 7 weeks pregnant on 19 September 2019. At 44, my age is quite advanced to support a pregnancy, and with gestational diabetes complicating my condition, I undergo an ultrasound test at every visit to my OB.

At 35 weeks into my pregnancy, I’m supposed to go for weekly check-ups now. But with the current COVID lockdown, my OB’s clinic is closed. Actually, my OB (who’s maybe approaching her mid-60s) has stopped going to hospitals since the lockdown started. I’m now being seen by her OB daughter instead, who makes special arrangements to see me at her mom’s private clinic in Taft, Manila. Thankfully! Yesterday, upon her mom’s advice, we agreed that she will deliver my baby through a cesarean procedure. She also helped me choose a good birth date based on feng shui. Of course, still, prayer is our best bet that all’s going to be well with my delivery amidst the COVID situation faced by all major hospitals in Manila.

Yesterday, driving to PGH was a breeze. There were still some cars on EDSA, but we reached PGH in a record time of 30 minutes. It would have taken 1 to 2 hours to reach it on an ordinary day from our residence. Reaching Taft, I saw a few homeless with their mats spread out and toted meager belongings, seeking whatever little shelter is offered by the skyway. I also saw a few informal workers allowed to peddle taho, buko juice, and other snacks in the streets. No one impeded our travel. There was no checkpoint at any city boundaries that we passed.

The PGH outpatient laboratory (QualiMed) was just by the entrance, detached from the main hospital. It had a triage area where staff check the temperature and ask the travel history of people going in. Less than a handful of patients were inside when I arrived. The chair I sat in to have a blood extraction was disinfected immediately once I was done. Alcohol pumps were available at all counters. The frontage of a pharmacy across the PGH where I bought water and medicine was covered with plastic, and its staff use a basket attached to a long stick to hand out purchased items to customers and collect payments.

The biometry fetal scan I had in Manila Medical Center took about half an hour. The examination bed was enclosed in plastic and the doctor had on a mask, plastic over her hospital gown and gloves. I came out of the hospital (mindful not to touch surfaces) relieved to know that my baby, although quite small for his gestational age, gave the doctor very good stats, and that there were no problems found in terms of his development.

I will need to take 12 capsules of Amino Acid 1000 daily, which will help my baby gain more weight in the 3 weeks left before my scheduled delivery. I was also given dexamethasone, a corticosteroid injected intramuscularly, to hasten the baby’s lung maturity. All these measures are done to lessen the chances of complications from a possible pre-term delivery which could lead to a longer stay in the hospital. My doctors would like for me to be discharged from the hospital in the shortest time possible so we lessen my and my baby’s chances of exposure to COVID. 

I have been feeling anxious and losing sleep thinking of delivering my baby in a hospital which has a number of admitted COVID patients. I only have Let to care for me this time, unlike with my two previous deliveries where we had both our families by our side. Let cannot afford to be sick. A caesarian delivery is something new for me. I can only pray it’s indeed our best option. We have little control over our circumstances. We can only try and do our best to avoid being infected with COVID, stay positive, and pray we get to go home quickly after the delivery.

Others have it far worse during this pandemic. While all are deprived of freedom to move, a great many are deprived of income and are living with greater uncertainty and fear. We are in this situation as one people, yet my family’s sufferings are nothing compared with those who lost their jobs, those who are sick, and those who lost loved ones to COVID. My anxieties are small inconveniences in the context of the gravity of this heath and economic crisis. Let’s continue to pray and help each other. This, too, shall pass but not without unity and resolve to do our share to contain the spread of the virus.

Becoming insulin-dependent

Pregnant at 44 - 1 March 2020 journal entry
(31 weeks pregnant)

Hello, March! I am 31 weeks pregnant now! I pray Galen makes his entry in six weeks, by then he would be full-term already. We are all excited to meet Galen, and every day we ask: Maitim kaya, kulot kaya? I’m sure Galen’s amazing in any skin color, hair texture and size. He is God‘s perfect creation, a bonus gift to the family! My prayer is for Galen to be healthy, that I deliver him normally, and that we get to go home at the same time ready to start our lives together.

I’m getting and feeling heavier by the day. My OB ordered that I go on sick leave again, for three weeks this time. I still have cough and haven’t gotten back my normal voice. I sound nasal for a month now. My OB wants my sugar controlled. I’m taking a second insulin dose (eight units) which  I inject before dinner. Still not sure whether the second nightly dose would fix my sugar level. My endocrinologist wants me to go on a trial and error process. I increase the dosage by one unit if my sugar spikes persist until I see her again in two weeks. Weight today = 65.9 kg.

Pregnant But Can't Ditch Antibiotics

Pregnant at 44 - 15 February 2020 journal entry
(29 weeks pregnant)

I went to see a different pulmonologist yesterday. I had a sputum culture test and the results were not bad – nothing wrong with my respiratory flora. The doctor said I should have gone back to the first pulmonologist I saw as then he would have just extended my Cefuroxime dose. Instead I took another round of a new antibiotic. And now, I’m back to taking antibiotics (Co-amoxiclav). This is not good at all, being 3 weeks on antibiotics and pregnant. My symptoms have eased up, my nose is still congested but I can tolerate it now. I’m feeling much better than I did the last two weeks.

Yesterday as I was trying to nap, my helper knocked excitedly on the door. I was a bit annoyed to be disturbed. But it turned out that she received a flower delivery that Let sent for me. Six red roses, big ones, arranged elegantly with a love note from my “dutiful and obedient husband." My mood changed in a heartbeat – it was Valentine’s Day! I was feeling better. I look forward to swinging back to my normal daily routine by Thursday, 20 February. Down to two months waiting for my baby Galen!

Pregnant and Sick Before COVID

Pregnant at 44 - 6 February 2020 journal entry 

(27 weeks pregnant)

February came and saw me at my 27th week with Galen. It is the height of the flu season and coronavirus has made it more challenging to get by. I caught some bacterial infection in the last week of January and I have been sick for two (long) weeks now. I saw a pulmonologist and he diagnosed me first with bronchitis and gave me Cefuroxime and Fluimucil. I saw him again after four days and I was worse; he then changed the diagnosis to rhinosinusitis and gave me Sinupret. Alas, that too didn’t work. So I saw another doctor (an OB who's a reliever of my OB who was sick) and the first thing she told me was that I should take time off from work. She said that it is unfair for the baby. Baby boys, she said, are weaker and don’t thrive. She asked me to take another antibiotic for five days (Zithromax) and added some meds for my immune system (IgCo milk and Claricort) and asked me to up my dose of vitamin C. It’s been two days now since I went to see her but I still feel sick and congested. I pray I get well soon and the medicines take their full effect soon! I am off work for eight days! Let is away but he’s coming home tonight. I hope I am only waiting for him to get back to my normal routine and breathe well…

The Big Reveal - Shameless Bump on FB

Pregnant at 44 - 26 January 2020 journal entry

(26 weeks pregnant)

I thought my get-up was cute (shirt dress, denim jacket, white sneakers), and so I took shameless selfies of my 26-week tummy while inside Uniqlo. And next thing, I was convinced I wanted to make my first “obvious” appearance in Facebook to announce that, “Guys I’m pregnant!.” I posted what I thought was the best selfie I took, without a caption. Then came the likes, wow/shocked emoticons, and many 💗s as well. Some took a few seconds of their time to express their delight and well wishes.

For a long time, I hesitated to make public that I was expecting, fearing that something bad could happen (“mabati,” sabi ni Let). I hope I inspire older moms like me to have one more baby or have their first baby despite their advanced age. I hope, too, that I didn’t make others feel sad that I’m having my third when they have tried to have their first many times, but have not been given the chance until now to become a mom. It was not my intention to do that. I pray each woman that wants to become a mom gets to experience the joys of expecting a child.

Dealing with Gestational Diabetes

Pregnant at 44 - 19 January 2020 journal entry
(25 weeks pregnant)

This week was busier than my first work week. On Monday, I went to my endocrinologist  who has been my doctor for 12 years now. I met her when I developed a very rare disease called acromegaly (story on this link) and she remarkably made the right diagnosis in 2007.

My endocrinologist confirmed this time that I have gestational diabetes, and she said I was predisposed to it due to my acromegaly history. She started me on 10 units of insulin. I started monitoring my blood sugar in December. Sadly, I had many spikes reading as high as 187, and on some days, my sugar dived to 57. After a week of insulin I still registered abnormal high and low sugar levels, tsk tsk, not good at all. 😢

I should really shift to brown rice. Maybe I’ll start next week and see if white rice has been the main culprit all along. I never thought I could have diabetes. I’m praying my gestational diabetes resolves after I give birth.

I am also praying that the ultrasound-doppler finding on some notching in one of my uterine arteries, which delivers food to the baby through the placenta, resolves in my third trimester. In the meantime, I am to take aspirin, a blood thinner, daily. 

Pregnant at 44

11 January 2020 (24 weeks)

It's a Boy

Hello 2020! I like you already, as you will see my Galen (GALEN – anagram for angel) born into this beautiful, crazy, fast world. Please see us through with grace and love.

I survived the first work week! But more than that, this week gave me a peek into what Galen is up to. He was so awake and cooperative, but a bit shy, in the one hour I had a congenital anomaly scan. Galen was such a good boy, charming the doctors and showing all his organs -- his 10 fingers and 10 toes, his perfect spine, his long arms -- curling his lips, opening his mouth, sucking his toes. Galen gave us quite a show! The sonologist, who was the section head of The Medical City Women’s Health, happily showed her resident doctors a perfect scan of Galen, remarking a few times how beautiful the images they got were. “Praise be to God,” she said, and I felt God’s love and faithfulness. 💛

Choosing Happiness

Today was one of those days when I think I could fill a page writing about how it went from good to bad to good to bad to good. I left the house at 530am, logged in at work at 640ish, not bad for the state of traffic along Ortigas extension, I tell you. I spent around 6 minutes to put on my favorite Happy Skin foundation, nude lippie and mascara; gathered my hair into a pony tail, and by 730, I had started the day and was having my second cup of coffee while responding to emails from last night  Great start.

Lunch of three-fourths cup rice, pork sisig, pakbet, and maja blanca started me off on a good afternoon. I was back at my desk by 1230, finished a draft input over a 30-minute unused lunch break. An hour later, I got an email saying that there was no need for that draft. Ok, fine. I quickly moved on. On a busy day, it's normal to get busier by the hour until you hardly notice it's 5pm because the A/C has been shut off, then it's 6pm and past cob (close of business). I pulled myself away from my PC to call Garrett before he surrenders his phone for the 7-930pm study period for dormers. 

I asked my usual question. "How are you?" I was worried his sore throat had gotten worse, I asked again rephrasing my first question, "How are you feeling?" Garrett replied, "Hi, Mom! I feel great!" Then he went on to report about today's activities and scores he got in quizzes. He said he got 30/35 in an English quiz. We ended the call after 7 minutes with many reminders like not forgetting to brush his teeth, to which he would always just say, "Yes, Mom, I do." Or "Yes, Mom, I will." It's a good measure of comfort to me talking to him and being told he is not only okay, he's feeling great! Love that. He says it's hard to study at PSHS, yet he feels great! Eh 'di wow! Hihi!

So that call wrapped up my day at work on a happy mood. I knew the line at the fx terminal was getting longer by the minute. But I felt good. In fact, I didn't have to take a paracetamol today for migraine. 😊

Until I got on the fx, a Mitsubishi Adventure. By the order of the line, I hopped on in the middle seat, flanked by two big men. B1, on my left, was easily twice my weight. And B2, on my right, had to close the door lifting his weight from the seat such that when the door closed, he had to squeeze himself in the little space left between me and the door. I had my arms straight out in front of me and my body was leaning to the right into the void that B2 could not fill. B2 had pointy hip bones, I wanted to advance instead to avoid contact, but I was squeezed, I didn't dare move an inch. B1 seemed so A-ok, I'd credit him for not making unnecessary movements. I liked B1 better though he was bigger. B2, aside from his pointy hips, was sweaty, smelling like his shirt was not properly dried. Not only that, he had earphones on and was singing lyrics from his phone screen. Agh. 

Thank heavens, he got off midway to the end of my ride! I was happy again. 

I got home to this girl. And I thought and felt ashamed of the nerve I had to complain. I am too blessed to be stressed. The daily grind is my choice anyway. Just saying because this blog has been so quiet for so long... 

Happy mid-week. Weekend is upcoming. My favorite day is Friday because it's my weekly reunion with my son. 😊

My First Eventful Mission in Bangladesh

April 25, Saturday (first two paragraphs are lifted from my DayOne entry)

Breakfast in Feni, Chittagong, Bangladesh. Barely got to sleep last night. Got scared with electricity going out twice! Not sure how I'm going to hold up the entire day for discussions with farmers, the five-hour train ride back to Dhaka, and the mission report to finish.

Add to my woes the fact that I couldn't take a decent bath. I look like I didn't take a shower, which frankly is true. Water in the shower is brown, the color of coffee mixed with 1 sachet of coffee mate!! So I had to run the water for a while until I got a fourth of a pail of water that's clear enough, and just had to make do using a drinking glass as dipper. And of course I didn't get to wash my hair. Pity. But this is development work so I can't complain.. 

Bangladesh is an interesting country. The people are warm, curious and appear sincere. I enjoyed the last 5 days getting acquainted to its landscape and people. I hope water and sanitation facilities would be improved. It's ok when you're in Dhaka and staying in five-star hotels, because everything is clean. It's when you go out that eating, use of public toilets and accommodation can become challenging to some, me included.

Much of Bangladesh consists of flat agricultural lands like this with ponds in between. 

Checking out the irrigation canals and pumps. 

We met with officials and members of water user associations at the Bangladesh Water Development Board (BWDB) office in Feni. There were some 30 plus attendees, two of whom were women. The farmers were very eager to support the irrigation improvement project that the Mission presented. The women, wearing their saris, stood up to speak as well. In this Muslim country, it's amazing how women are getting organized to rally their causes. More and more women are getting their college degrees and getting employed. This project mainstreams gender equality and requires the project to employ a minimum number of them. The downside to that is it's manual excavation labor that women would have to do, and of course, it would be those very poor that would participate.

The farmers who stand to benefit from the irrigation improvements and innovations the project will bring.

Upon finishing the meeting, news reached us about the earthquake. I was told that there was an earthquake in Dhaka. All my companions were all suddenly on their phones checking on their families and properties. When everyone had settled down, relieved that everything seemed ok except for some buildings that sustained cracks, we noticed that my mission leader was still on the phone and looking very much worried. His family resides in Nepal and he was talking to his wife, getting as much information as he could. 

It was a strained ride back to the BWDB guesthouse. On the way back, we stopped for a stroll along a historical pond where we chanced upon some locals bathing.

The train is a primary mode of transportation in Bangladesh. It is safer than going by car
 to the other administrative divisions and districts. This coach is quite comfortable. 

April 26, Sunday

We had to wrap up the mission abruptly as my mission leader had to fly back to Nepal to help his family. Fortunately, the Kathmandu airport reopened the day after the 7.8 magnitude earthquake and he was able to get a flight. We only saw how bad the situation was when we reached the hotel late night the previous day and saw the news on CNN. 

I was left at the hotel finishing my input to the mission aide memoire when I suddenly started feeling wobbly. I thought I was getting dizzy from lack of sleep and exhaustion from the field trip, until I realized that the building was shaking. I was on the 16th floor! I put on my shoes, grabbed my phone, went out my room, and got panicky not knowing whether to take the stairs or the lift!! I was scared, I was crying. I took my chances, got on the elevator and prayed hard I would reach the lobby. I know I should have taken the stairs but I thought that it would be a long flight from where I was!! 

A few minutes after, all the guests were made to evacuate the building and gather at the hotel's open parking lot. And then shortly after, we were informed that it was safe to go back to our rooms. It turned out that it was due to a strong aftershock in Nepal.

I wanted badly to go home... Good thing my flight was at midnight that day. I asked to be transferred to a room on the lowest floor possible. I packed early and was ready to go by 6pm.

Afterthoughts

If not for that earthquake, we would have concluded the mission successfully. For me, a novice to this kind of missions, it was a good six days of getting to know the project and the government officials managing it. I got to see Dhaka and its people, experienced taking the train and seeing the lush countryside with farmers immersed in their rice paddies or in the ubiquitous ponds, saw many kinds of birds, ate their food with my bare hands to mimic my local companions, shook hands with Bangladeshis, chatted with some to know more about their culture, and survived the roads which were abuzz with rickshaws, cars, buses and trucks all wanting to get ahead of each other and weaving through traffic at extremely close distance from each other.

Normal chaos on the road with drivers able to squeeze into very small spaces, honking horns along the way,
to get ahead. Their manual and auto rickshaws are the tuktuks in other countries or pedicabs and tricycles in the Philippines.

That maybe reserved but that definitely is a pose from the man in blue.

I would want to go back.

Let me end with a prayer that the people of Nepal would be spared from any more natural disasters as they pick themselves up and move on.. May Bangladesh and the rest of South Asia forge ahead and keep up or be ahead of growing new economies.

The famous rickshaws each uniquely designed and driven by brave hearts! 

Holed up in Dhaka

Left to myself, I realized I really don't mind the mess. No rest from morning to night even if I'm holed up in this space. Mission aide memoire, emails, etc. have kept me seated in that chair the whole time. Crazy happy. Productive day still. There's more to finish tomorrow. Thank you, Lord. Keep my children, Let and all my family safe.

Blessings

It's 2015 in a few hours. Let me do a last blog post to close 2014 and welcome the new year properly. It's been quite a while now since I last posted an update. I was busy settling into a new job since September. My mind, body and, I guess, all my energy had to zone in into the new job, new bosses, new colleagues, and adjustments in my household and arrangements for the daily care of Garrett and Gabee. 

It's a good time to reflect on the blessings and challenges of the year that was. What a great year it was for me and my family, we capped it off with a vacation up north in Sagada. We had an amazing time up in the mountains, enjoying all-day long cool temperature, and exploring what we could in the three days we were there. There were just so many little anecdotes and beautiful moments that, I think that trip deserves a separate post complete or replete with gorgeous photos of that place (my family in them to vouch for its authenticity, hehe!). For now, let me just run through special events to remember 2014 by. 

Garrett and Gabee each had their moments on stage when they received their school diplomas and moved up, Garrett to high school while Gab to elementary. 

Summer was memorable as it was the first I got to spend the whole time with the two kids. It was the best three months of my one-year extended leave from work. I was completely at their service, packing for trips, taking them swimming, to bookstores, and fast food chains (KFC, McDonald's, and Jollibee, in the order of which one we visited more frequently). When I had their dad's blessing, we ate at our favorite  Cafe Mary Grace. I was just always hesitant splurging my husband's hard-earned money. Heehee! Their dad to his credit treated them to more fancy restaurants like Chelsea, Crystal Jade, Lugang Cafe, Abe, if only to show them how to eat properly in a more refined dining setting. It's difficult to teach table etiquette when we really don't practice fine dining, with all the works, at home.

We had staycations in the metro, where the two kids had a blast getting their fill of reading books and buying pens and stationery from Fully Booked, Power Books and National Bookstore, strolls at nearby malls, and swims in the late morning or afternoon. The first official summer outing was with my side of the family. We spent one weekend at Thunderbird Resorts Rizal. It was the first time for all of us at that resort. We enjoyed the pool with a great view of Rizal's greenery, and dinner at the resort's restaurant. 

We then went solo as a family to Pico de Loro in Nasugbu, Batangas, to celebrate my 13th wedding anniversary with my super loving, super provider hubbs. It was also a great first time in that cove for all of us, and we would want to come back and take with us our extended family. I wrote about that trip on this blog. We loved the infinity pool and swam until night fell. 

For Mother's Day, we checked into Holiday Inn with my 90-year-old Lola, my mother, siblings and nieces. We grabbed Holiday Inn's promo selling rooms at 4,000 pesos a night for Mother Day's weekend. Garrett, Gab and their cousin Bash who loved staying in hotels enjoyed the most. Us adults enjoyed the buffet breakfast. 😉

Summer was extended as the school opening was moved to late July following DEPEd's move to allow schools to align their calendars to the international norm with most schools opening in August globally. It was a very opportune change as we welcomed back to the Philippines Kuya Butch and his family, balikbayans from California, who arrived June first. From the airport, we travelled the next day to Laiya, San Juan, Batangas to celebrate Tatay Ike's birthday at La Luz Resort, the same resort we visited at least six times for the last eight years. I wouldn't be able to describe to you how happy and excited everyone was. My husband's side of the family was complete, full house, with three of their cousins also in our group. I always enjoyed snorkeling in  Laiya, I would bet, every one did, too. We took great family portrait photos in the same spot of the resort. It would be interesting to do a timeline and see how the kids have grown, and how the adults have remained young-looking, hehe, despite the obvious weight gain. 

The rains came early but we had our final hirit during the school break in late June. We drove up north to Baguio and spent three chilly nights and four foggy mornings there. One of the highlights was our tour of BenCab museum and breakfast at Sabel's Cafe. I posted photos of our Baguio trip on this blog. 

Then came school opening and Gab's entry into big school. Gabee didn't take any time at all to settle in as she was already familiar with the school, some teachers, and Kuya's classmates. Her friendly ways helped to blend her in in no time. 

Garrett skipped fifth grade because of the K to 12 program. High school came a year earlier than expected. And with it came more complex projects and requirements and multiple field trips. This school year, I'm happy that he has found a couple of best friends, and he now mingles constantly with certain classmates. He had some come over the house for his 12th birthday. 

We took advantage of a long weekend in August and defied the rainy weather with a quick trip to Subic. We stayed at Kamana Sanctuary where monkeys freely roamed in the mountains at the back of the hotel and the beach in front gave us a great view of sunrise and sunset. 

I went back to work in September to a new post, in a new department. It was a good move and I feel very blessed being reabsorbed permanently, resuming all my benefits and, of course, having regular money in my ATM card. :) 

Garrett completed the Kumon reading program in June and was recognized as an Advanced Kumon student at the Kumon Advanced Students Forum held in Sofitel Hotel last November. That was a big moment for him. We will be back in next year's forum where he will receive the completer's award. 

Christmas came quickly. The week before Christmas, the wonderful news that he qualified to study at the Philippine Science High School, Central Luzon (Clark, Pampanga) campus came out. Wow, we all said, almost in disbelief seeing his name among the 5 percent or 1,000 plus of 23,000 plus takers. He didn't land a spot among the top 240 who qualified to enroll at the main campus. But OMG, it was just a try, with only self-study using MSA and PSHS reviewers, which I bought a few months before the exam. Hats off to my voracious reader! 

And to end the year, as I have mentioned, we pulled far away from the city and communed with nature, closer to God, in the ancestral mountains of Sagada. 

It has been a year to remember, filled with God's grace and overflowing with blessings. I pray the year ahead will see even better days. May all the good even get better. I pray for all that's best for you and your loved ones. I pray the country's elected officials step up and direct the flow of economic gains toward those still living at and below poverty levels. May we all help do our share to help for the good of all. May God keep us in His favor. 

Happy New Year!! Blessings in 2015 and beyond. Thank you for being a part of my little world. 

Road Affair

It's Wednesday, my public commute day. I left the house at 5:50 am, now it's 6:14 and the fx I'm riding is crawling, covering just a couple of kilometers since stopping to pick me. This is Ortigas Extension. Traffic while common everywhere in Manila is heavier on this short stretch, a major road linking Rizal to one of Manila's commercial business districts. If today was another day of the week and I were driving, I would have taken a long detour going inside Cainta from Taytay to skip traffic along several subdivisions to Cainta Junction, and save 10-15 minutes, crucial minutes that would determine my road affair for the day, which would usually spare me from getting squeezed on all fronts and sides, and the silent fight against bikers and speeding (despite the traffic) PUVs. 

It's now 6:33, and this fx has finally inched its way for its turn to cross the junction. Haha, I've gotten rusty writing a blah-blah post. It's been almost three months since my last blog musings. Work has taken over and filed my hours. Traffic is a major time filler, too, sadly. 

I've gotten used to waking so freaking early at around 4am, eyes still closed but fully awake. Mornings start quiet save for the AM news and the witty and funny rejoinders of Chico, Delamar and Gino on FM radio. I spend between 40 and 60 minutes in the car going to work. This is one of the things I did differently this time. Before, I opted to take the public commute because I thought it was a better choice, saved me gas money and effort. Now, I realized driving despite the traffic and spending on gas made for a slightly better quality of life. I am no longer rushing to get off work to avoid the long queue at the fx terminal. That I realized was a major source of my stress before, never mind the blaring radio in the fx or the loud conversation of the driver with his co-drivers on transmitter radio, or being squeezed by other passengers, or being forced to listen in to small talk of passengers or a passenger's side of conversation on his/her mobile phone. Some drivers are funny and I would silently laugh over radio exchanges, and kind of decoded some of their radio signals. 

We're making progress now having passed the hazards/accidents that caused the heavier than usual traffic. I'm cutting this short now. Happy mid week!' :) 

Lord, I hope this day is good

This song would play on my iPod during my morning walks, but I only listened closely and appreciated its beautiful lyrics and melody the past three weeks. If you're one of the few wasting time on this blog (hehe), you'd remember I mentioned in one recent post that I am not into music and just listen to whatever songs are on the iPod watch, which I only use when taking walks. The songs are grouped under several playlists, and before I would take off every morning, I'd choose a playlist which had more than enough songs to run the course of a 30-minute brisk walk. I was anxious the past weeks waiting for the day when I would go back to work after more than a year of being on extended leave. As I walked, I would look up and pray for the job I wanted to take up when I return to the same organization. This song was right on. I prayed that I would hear good news on that day, and every day. It summed up how I felt, "Lord, I hope this day is good."

I thought I'd share it here, and inspire even just a couple of you out there. I have successfully attached a video so you could hear it. It's the same version (Lee Ann Womack) as the one saved on my iPod watch. Anne Murray also has her own rendition, but it was originally performed by country singer Don Williams (whoever he is).

Lord, I hope this day is good

I'm feelin' empty like You knew I would

I should be thankful, Lord, I know I should

But Lord, I hope this day is good

Lord, have You forgotten me?

I've been praying to You faithfully

I'm not saying I've done all I can

But Lord, I know You'll understand

I don't need fortune and I don't need fame

Send down the thunder, Lord, send down the rain

But when You're planning just how it will be

Plan a good day for me

Lord, I hope this day is good

I'm feelin' empty like You knew I would

I should be thankful, Lord, I know I should

But Lord, I hope this day is good

You've been the King since the dawn of time

All that I'm askin is a little less crying

It might be hard for the devil to do

But it would be easy for You

Lord, I hope this day is good

I'm feelin' empty like You knew I would

I should be thankful, Lord, I know I should

But Lord, I hope this day is good

Lord, I hope this day is good

My UPCAT Experience

It's UPCAT today and tomorrow. My fb newsfeed this morning tells me that several of my fb friends and their friends' children are taking the college admission test of the University of the Philippines, or what is more known as UPCAT. I happened to be at UP Diliman last Thursday to inquire about registration for my hubby's re-entry into UP as a graduate student and at the Diliman campus this time around. He's successfully gotten into the MBA program. Yay! :)

Last Thursday, guide signs as to building names, parking areas, drop-off points have already been put up. Exam takers, one sign says, are to be dropped off within 10 seconds. Now, that says a lot about the exam takers. Many will be bringing private cars. I know it's saying the obvious, but let me just say that those from the lower middle, middle, and upper middle classes have a better chance at passing, and that profile of UP students would reveal this. 

Some twenty years ago, I was among the thousands that flocked to UP Diliman. I took the UPCAT at the daunting UP College of Law building, in a large, air-conditioned lecture hall. The testing room I was assigned put me to the very edge, my hands clammy and my insides churning. I was nervous lining up, well, the whole time I guess. At the end of the exam, I had to nurse a one-of-a-kind headache, the worst I had gotten I think. I put so much pressure on myself. I had to pass because it would be embarrassing if I didn't as both my two older sisters passed it and already got their UP diplomas. Add to them my father who is also an alumnus, and imagine how much I wanted desperately to also make it. Plus, I was born in Los Banos, in a small well-knit community right outside the UPLB campus. So growing up, UP was always in my radar, and I felt I had to study there, too. 

Thank God, I did make it. During my time, there were no established review centers yet, or none that I knew of. There was just the stock knowledge to rely upon and a bit of self study before the exam. I didn't pass with flying colors though. I didn't make it to the course of my choice which was nursing, but I did make the cut for UP Manila, only that I had to find a college that would accept me because I did not have any course of 2nd choice to take there. 

I decided instead to get into UPLB (my second campus of choice) for practical reasons as I had grandparents there who were more than glad to feed me and support me through college, with the help of my sisters who were already working and my generous stepfather.  I applied for scholarship but the application for STFAP was so complicated I just gave up my bracket 4 or 5 (can't remember now).   You had to indicate how many electric fans and TV sets you have and your siblings' incomes as well! I was lucky I did not have to worry about board and lodging, thanks to Lolo and Lola. There was enough money for my weekly roundtrip fares to Manila and my daily expenses for photocopying and snacks. Tuition was only P225 per unit, and one semester only cost less than P6,000. But the "Seventeen" shirts I liked buying from Cinderella store I got mostly from extra money I earned from being a student assistant.

My freshman year was difficult, I had to catch up especially with Math, even communication arts. Majority of my block mates were from the upper middle class, I could tell from their clothes, confidence and the way they talked to each other. It was a good thing there were two others who were not as "sosyal" and who talked in Tagalog just like me. Hehe, we got along and were kind of the outcasts in Block 37. :)) My blockmates' social profiles were not however representative of who were in UPLB that time; it was skewed to the upper class maybe because most of my block mates came from families who were hacienderos in light of our course -- agribusiness. Now, why did I take that course which was worlds away from nursing? Simply because it was my sister's course. I wanted to follow her footsteps so to speak. 

Was UPCAT difficult? English was not, Math yes, and Science was really difficult for me. Those studying in science and exclusive schools or very good private schools have an edge. The lucky passers who come from public schools and private schools that are not in the category of the really good (synonymous to expensive) ones are mostly the top,  at the least, 20% students of the graduating batch. I scored poorly in Science, it was a good thing that my scores in English and Reading were high enough to pull up my average to make the UP Manila minimum university predicted grade or UPG. I was not smart, just diligent and had a thing for the written word. And that was it. 

A UP education paved the way for my first employment that came even in advance of the April graduation. And thanks to UP, I found the man who was to be my husband. We took the same course. And he is doing well in his career, as with all our common friends from college. 

If you're diligent and motivated and from humble roots, UP is almost a sure ticket to success. So it's really worth taking that one chance, the UPCAT. 

Incidentally, I had time to kill this morning while I was waiting on my son who was attending a career orientation, organized by his school. They invited all the high school students from grade seven up. Representatives from schools like Mapua, University of Asia and the Pacific, University of Santo Tomas, Saint Scholastica, Saint Paul and Arellano University gave presentations. The students warmed to UA&P's fantastic speaker and slides. 

Garrett now is thinking of enrolling with UA&P. And I found myself convincing him of making getting accepted into UP his priority. I have five more years to convince him. But in the end, I will have to step back and let him make the decision on which university to go to and what profession to pursue. He knows I'd like for him to consider medicine. But he has other thoughts like video games programming, oh no! :) 

Acing Math

Somebody was beaming when I fetched him yesterday. He spilled the reason the instance that he was close enough to me, shy that he might be sounding like bragging if overheard, or maybe shy he couldn't contain his joy. Being a mom entitles me to some bragging rights. Hee-hee, just overjoyed myself I want to share some good vibes. With feet on the ground but with spirits high, allow me to shout out that Kuya got a perfect score in his Math midterm exam. Wow! This is a milestone for it is after all a seventh grade Math (Algebra) exam. And I am amazed because I never could ace Algebra, or any Math for that matter. I think Kumon Math is a big help for Kuya because he's used to everyday drills and his Kumon level is advanced than his current grade school level. During sixth grade, he was consistently exempted from taking final trimester exams in Math and that meant more review time for other subjects like Sibika. :-) 

To Neverland (Robin Williams)

Robin Williams as Peter Pan in the movie Hook (1991).
Source: Grabbed from www.corbisimages.com

Jumping out of my newsfeed this morning was the sad circumstance of Robin Williams' death. His death like those of Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, celebrities who were at the top of their league, makes me realize that riches, fame and power can ironically bring emptiness and loneliness. Robin Williams was a genius, gifted at his craft. I will always remember him as Peter Pan. May he rest in peace in the other world, in the Neverland. And may his death inspire people to look at their lives and find pockets of happiness filled with "happy thoughts" to sustain them until the appointed time. 

Oh, crap! (Music and Me)

Warning: This is not for those who don't have spare time to read blah-blahs. At the outset, I'm saying that what follows is crap. But I'm writing crap just because. You've been forewarned, read on at your free will. Thank you. 

I pick up from where I was last in my thoughts, see previous post if you haven't, or if you care to. It's just me, ok. I don't want to think I'm imposing myself shamelessly upon you. Yes, I've my doubts about this blog. But I keep posting to it because that's just how I feel. Whatever, right? To each his own. 

I wrote about being goofy, letting loose as I walk and swing my hips during my morning walks. Depending on the music playing on my iPod watch (not sure how it's called and feeling lazy about looking it up now, crap!), I either walk dancing or walk singing, belting out songs in the likes of I Miss You Like Crazy. Of course, you know that song. If you've reached this far reading, you must be an 80s teenybopper. Or if you used to watch Ate Luds in Eye to Eye, you'd also know that that was the song playing while Alma Moreno was being interviewed when Dolphy suddenly left her for Zsa Zsa. And I think it became Alma's song from then on. 

So yes not only do I walk like no one is watching, I also sing my heart out because I know for sure no one is listening. It feels so good to just be the way you feel like being. My repertoire spans many decades and genres, whatever's been saved on the iPod by the hubby who is the one into music. I am not. I've figured that the only time I really enjoy listening to music is when I'm walking. I don't usually like driving with music playing. I can't sleep with the music on. I also don't like cleaning the house or doing anything with music in the background because I find it hard to focus on the task at hand. I enjoy music purposively or when what I want to do is just listen to it, nothing else, except when I take morning walks or hit the treadmill. 

In a related post, I said that I've never moved on from the 80's and 90's music. But more than me, the hubby's music interest dates further down to 60's-70's to include Shirley Bassey and her contemporaries. So what I mostly listen to are songs from these decades. To name a few of my new 'old' favorites, I like Carly Simon's Nobody Does it Better and You're So Vain; Carole King's So Far Away; and James Taylor's Shower the People.

But, the mushy, crazy me just likes to sing my heart out, as if I had more than 1 other boyfriend aside from the  one that became my better half. The melody and lyrics of this song are unforgettable. Everybody, now:

I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy, 

ever since you went away, every hour of every day.

I miss you like crazy, I miss you, baby.

Love like ours will never end, just touch me and we're there again.