A Letter to an Expectant Father

18 April 2020

(38 weeks exactly)

Dear Let,

You ready yet? Today could be the day as I have reached my 38th week of gestation, the day my OB says I can safely deliver Galen via a caesarian section. I have been experiencing irregular contractions in the past two weeks. Galen has been keeping us in suspense, but for good reason. He wants to be as ready as he could be before meeting his excited family. Let’s see if he could wait one more day to meet our schedule.

As I am wheeled into the operating room on Monday, please stay calm and fervently pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby boy. I derive my strength and courage fully knowing that you’ll just be right outside the OR praying for me and Galen. I have been able to put off my anxieties in all the nine plus months because of your steady love and support. If there is one thing good that has come out of this COVID-imposed lockdown, it is having you by my side 24/7 in the last weeks of my pregnancy. 

You’ve been nothing but the perfect, supportive husband and expectant father. I appreciate that you would always indulge my requests for a back massage. You would also not complain when I would ask you to prepare me a glass of milk well into the night.

We never planned to have a third child. In fact, we were already coping well by ourselves without a helper, thinking we could keep our life simpler with just the four of us. What a shock it was finding out I was pregnant. You said it took a long time before the thought of me pregnant could sink in. “But how?,” you asked.😀

Galen shook our established routines. I was forced to stay home for almost half of the pregnancy. And you were forced to actively search for house-help again. Then came the lockdown, and you were placed into a position you never thought would fall upon you. For the first time, you had to do grocery shopping and take over managing the household. You’re no longer just a provider but you’ve become a caregiver and a household manager as well. I have been for the most part just in bed, practically useless, all thanks to you! It seems like you have paid extra for all the times you missed my prenatal appointments when I was pregnant with Garrett and Gabee. Now, I have that privilege of wailing in pain should labor come early and be brought to the hospital in a car. I took a jeepney to the hospital the night I felt uterine contractions with Garrett and an FX the day that I felt Gabee was pushing her way out. You were traveling at both instances and had to drive home when I was already in labor. Well, Galen is lucky to have you just waiting, with your own hospital bag packed and ready. That gives me such a relief despite the situation we are in due to the threat of COVID. 

With God’s constant grace, we will come through this safe and more blessed, with Galen giving us hope that all will be well. Galen is our silver lining amid COVID-19. We can only hope that the world would be somehow better, its people more mindful, caring and kinder when we go past this pandemic.  Keep the faith and stay safe.

Love, 

Cess

Idle Thoughts

4 April 2020 Journal Entry

Today I count nine months or 36 full weeks of carrying my third baby (Galen). Just a week from now and Galen will be considered full–term, ready to be born. If my delivery goes as planned, I will have Galen in my arms on April 20th of the year 2020 -- lots of 20’s in his birthday! 👦

How are you? Manila is on its third week of the COVID-19 lockdown. As of this writing, there are a million confirmed cases and almost 60,000 deaths globally per the WHO. The Philippines’ cases number 3,018, dramatically up from the 6 cases reported on March 6, less than a month ago. Singapore, which was one of the early countries to report a case after China, has been managing well, controlling the spread of the virus through mass testing, isolating the confirmed cases and seriously doing contact-tracing since January, but yesterday, it acknowledged that its COVID positive cases are increasing in number via local transmission; its Prime Minister addressed the nation to convey its plan to roll out their version of a lockdown – full home-based learning, and only establishments providing essential services will be allowed to continue to operate next week. Many countries have caved into the lockdown trend to contain the spread of the virus.

The coronavirus originated in China in late 2019 and has spread globally in the first 3 months of the new year. Now, we see that other countries have surpassed China’s number of positive cases with the US reporting triple the number of positive cases than that of China at 240,000 plus versus 82,000 plus. Italy and Spain have also exceeded China’s number with each having over 100,000 cases. China’s strong hold of its people has spelled the difference with the containment of the virus. Assuming these countries all have resources at their disposal, China has leveraged its communist party-led state to effectively control its people’s movements thereby effectively containing the spread of the virus. Compare that with what’s happening in the US where you have a president first saying that the threat of the coronavirus to the US was a hoax and that it would soon go away, resulting in federal states stepping up efforts to contain the virus without a clear national directive. Just when the confirmed cases were starting to spiral in number last month, many US citizens went about as they pleased, emptied grocery shelves, and either stayed home or continued with their routines.

Each one of us needs to take measures to control the COVID-19 spread. Experts say that the COVID-19 impact is nothing they’ve seen in this lifetime. IMF stated that the world has entered into an economic recession. Until a vaccine is developed, tested, and distributed, we face a grim year full of uncertainties. Curtailing workers’ movement leaves little that can be achieved. Production and manufacturing in all sectors, even food/agriculture, have been greatly scaled down with some grounded to a halt for the time being.

Hotels are empty. Cruise ships, except those still at sea with no ports accepting them, will remain anchored. There’s no telling when people would start traveling again. Meantime, airports will remain practically empty. The skies will remain blue and quiet, and the roads less noisy. For the first time in urban areas, we get to open our windows to let the sun and some fresh air in. We can’t for now fully enjoy the sunsets where they are most beautiful to look at.

Amusement parks, movie theaters, concert halls, museums, galleries, and libraries will have to maintain their upkeep so they’re kept oiled and dusted, ready to open again when lockdowns are lifted. Our favorite hangout, the malls, are off limits save for their grocery shops. We eat in, we share more meals with family, more time to share stories and enjoy light banters with the people we care the most (if we are lucky that we are locked in with them), and that's a great thing. It's not all bad after all.

Summer break in the Philippines for most students has started early but offers not a lot of excitement as kids are bound to stay at home doing the same things over and over each day (enduring the heat of summer with hardly any reprieve to run free in the sun), missing their classmates and friends, and running out of creative ideas to spend time, thus, resorting to using their gadgets to keep them busy and entertained. What can parents do? Eventually, we relax our rules on gadget use and screen time, we get tired of reprimanding our children, and let them be to some extent. We each have our quiet times, coping, waiting until this is over.

Many mothers these days must be searching the Internet for recipes to cook to excite palates that have grown tired of sinigang, adobo, and menudo. Housemaids are itching to get their free days away from households they serve.

We all itch to go back to our old ways, to gain back our freedom to move, to plan our days without restrictions. But I, for one, don’t see that day happening soon. We are in this lockdown for another stretch of time. And when that day comes when the lockdown is lifted, we will be well advised to carefully come out of our homes, restart our routines fully aware that the virus remains and that we can easily contract it. Let’s be extra careful and take care of our health more than ever.

Pregnancy in the Time of COVID-19

Pregnant at 44 - 28 March 2020 journal entry
(35 weeks pregnant)

Metro Manila is on its 14th day since implementing the government’s lockdown policy to contain the spread of the novel corona virus 2019 (COVID 2019). Today, I hit my 35th week of my third pregnancy. Yesterday was the first time I got out of the house since the lockdown was imposed. My husband (Let) and I went for my prenatal check-up which included unavoidable trips to the Philippine General Hospital and Manila Medical Center, first for laboratory tests and then for a complete fetal exam. PGH is just across the private clinic of my OB hence it was my only option for doing the lab tests; Manila Medical Center is my only option to do the fetal scan, courtesy of my OB‘s classmate who was very kind to have the ultrasound room opened just to see me and examine my baby. The Women’s Health Center where they do ultrasound scans is closed as is the one in the Medical City where I usually went for scans and other tests to check on my baby’s well-being. I have had quite a number of scans since the first one that confirmed I was 7 weeks pregnant on 19 September 2019. At 44, my age is quite advanced to support a pregnancy, and with gestational diabetes complicating my condition, I undergo an ultrasound test at every visit to my OB.

At 35 weeks into my pregnancy, I’m supposed to go for weekly check-ups now. But with the current COVID lockdown, my OB’s clinic is closed. Actually, my OB (who’s maybe approaching her mid-60s) has stopped going to hospitals since the lockdown started. I’m now being seen by her OB daughter instead, who makes special arrangements to see me at her mom’s private clinic in Taft, Manila. Thankfully! Yesterday, upon her mom’s advice, we agreed that she will deliver my baby through a cesarean procedure. She also helped me choose a good birth date based on feng shui. Of course, still, prayer is our best bet that all’s going to be well with my delivery amidst the COVID situation faced by all major hospitals in Manila.

Yesterday, driving to PGH was a breeze. There were still some cars on EDSA, but we reached PGH in a record time of 30 minutes. It would have taken 1 to 2 hours to reach it on an ordinary day from our residence. Reaching Taft, I saw a few homeless with their mats spread out and toted meager belongings, seeking whatever little shelter is offered by the skyway. I also saw a few informal workers allowed to peddle taho, buko juice, and other snacks in the streets. No one impeded our travel. There was no checkpoint at any city boundaries that we passed.

The PGH outpatient laboratory (QualiMed) was just by the entrance, detached from the main hospital. It had a triage area where staff check the temperature and ask the travel history of people going in. Less than a handful of patients were inside when I arrived. The chair I sat in to have a blood extraction was disinfected immediately once I was done. Alcohol pumps were available at all counters. The frontage of a pharmacy across the PGH where I bought water and medicine was covered with plastic, and its staff use a basket attached to a long stick to hand out purchased items to customers and collect payments.

The biometry fetal scan I had in Manila Medical Center took about half an hour. The examination bed was enclosed in plastic and the doctor had on a mask, plastic over her hospital gown and gloves. I came out of the hospital (mindful not to touch surfaces) relieved to know that my baby, although quite small for his gestational age, gave the doctor very good stats, and that there were no problems found in terms of his development.

I will need to take 12 capsules of Amino Acid 1000 daily, which will help my baby gain more weight in the 3 weeks left before my scheduled delivery. I was also given dexamethasone, a corticosteroid injected intramuscularly, to hasten the baby’s lung maturity. All these measures are done to lessen the chances of complications from a possible pre-term delivery which could lead to a longer stay in the hospital. My doctors would like for me to be discharged from the hospital in the shortest time possible so we lessen my and my baby’s chances of exposure to COVID. 

I have been feeling anxious and losing sleep thinking of delivering my baby in a hospital which has a number of admitted COVID patients. I only have Let to care for me this time, unlike with my two previous deliveries where we had both our families by our side. Let cannot afford to be sick. A caesarian delivery is something new for me. I can only pray it’s indeed our best option. We have little control over our circumstances. We can only try and do our best to avoid being infected with COVID, stay positive, and pray we get to go home quickly after the delivery.

Others have it far worse during this pandemic. While all are deprived of freedom to move, a great many are deprived of income and are living with greater uncertainty and fear. We are in this situation as one people, yet my family’s sufferings are nothing compared with those who lost their jobs, those who are sick, and those who lost loved ones to COVID. My anxieties are small inconveniences in the context of the gravity of this heath and economic crisis. Let’s continue to pray and help each other. This, too, shall pass but not without unity and resolve to do our share to contain the spread of the virus.