Checkin' Back In

Hello, it's been quite a while. Hope you missed me. I did miss you that's why I'm breaking my long silence. Lost track of when I last blogged. I had checked and my last “decent” post was over two months ago. I have been silent while my mind has been abuzz. I couldn’t put my thoughts down, as I was afraid of the conclusions I would make if I did. Writing is a way of clearing my mind, going to the core of what’s been bothering me. Writing has to be heartfelt for it to be good; it exposes one’s soul so to speak. It behooves the writer to be true unless that writer is writing fiction or novels. But blogging is different. It’s personal, it’s mostly about one’s life, preferences, passions, advocacies, opinions, wishes, angsts, battles, all reflective of the blogger’s state of mind or, in general, the blogger’s present circumstances which are in large part the source of motivation to write or blog.

The fascination over having someone like you, even if there are just ten of you out there, reading me, empathizing or disagreeing with me, or maybe even bashing me, keeps me coming back. Times when I feel I need a little bit of attention or validation, and some introspection, I take to writing again. The thing with being out of radar for some time is that I start again fumbling, grappling, as I find my way to hitting the subject of this post. Please bear with me.

The last summer was one of the best I've had. I enjoyed it immensely with my children. It was my first summer when I was with them all the time except for a one-week vacation they had with my in-laws and a five-day summer camp that my eldest attended. We went on two outings with my side of the family, three with my in-laws, and one with just me, hubs and our two kids. The last one was with both sides, and I think it’s what the kids would remember the most, the trip to Enchanted Kingdom. But for me, I liked the Baguio trip the most although it was already June and raining when we went, it was like my first time again to experience its fog, veggies, strawberries, flowers, ube, markets. I was pregnant with my eldest, who’s now turning 12, when I visited Baguio before this last trip. Despite all the developments and the negative things said about it, including how its air quality is even poorer than Manila’s, Baguio has retained its charm for me. I look forward to visiting again and exploring it more.

I have amassed photos to keep from the last summer alone. I’m planning to make photo-books of each trip so my family could in a way relive the fun and drum up excitement for future vacations. For many years, a decade now, come to think of it, we’ve stopped printing photos, and just kept them in external drives and the desktop. This, to my little dismay, prevents me from retrieving very old photos and making throwback-Thursday (TBT) and flashback-Friday posts on fb or IG. Seriously! Well, yes, those who have been (tirelessly) following me on fb know that with all the fb albums I have, I can just extract old photos from there. True, true. But, the point is, I believe it’s important to also have photos printed and kept in boxes, or printed straight onto photo-books. Now, I know why I see plastic photo albums always on sale in bookstores. I have an empty one that I bought years ago but never got to use, and may never will.

Looking back again to my summer of 2014, I feel so blessed and happy being able to take my two children wherever. They are spaced six years apart, my eldest, as I’ve mentioned, is turning 12 this year, and my youngest just turned 6 recently. We would take off any time, and I only needed to pack their clothes and slippers. We would sit in restaurants and I could enjoy my meal as they enjoyed theirs. It has always been at the back of my mind, an option until now, to have another child. But, at my age, and at this juncture, it’s best for everyone that we remain a foursome family. I am not saying this in definitive terms, of course, as who knows what might tomorrow bring, right?

Ok, what was I afraid of again? I’m not saying. I have skipped it, thankfully. I will spill though when I have become comfortable sharing it. I’m just happy now for putting an end to my hiatus. I hope I get inspired again to share things happening with me and around me. Writing is fun. I derive great pleasure from it. You should try it. To end, let me share that my son bought yet another notebook and has been madly scribbling his thoughts wherever (I hope not during his classes). Happy thoughts and happy vibes to you and yours. J

Sharing some treasured photos:

BAGUIO

THUNDERBIRD RESORTS RIZAL

HOLIDAY INN

LA LUZ RESORT, LAIYA, SAN JUAN, BATANGAS

ENCHANTED KINGDOM

A new chapter

I'm back into the folds of life as it is for many. The reality that I am out of job, after almost 18 years of uninterrupted employ, sank in while I was on a bus on a work day at 2pm. I was on my way home, after getting my exit (leave) clearance sheet signed.

My past routine consisted of 6am-ish commute to office, 8-12 hours office work, commute back home between 5 and 7pm, and most weekends spent at home to de-stress. I loved Fridays and did not look forward to Mondays. This routine was my reality for 7.5 years. I have learned much from the experience of working in a multinational organization. I met and worked with people from different cultures, and made a number of friends and a few close ones with whom I intend to keep in touch. My take-aways, to name a few, are resilience to strive to be better in your job; the perspective that all kinds of work (no matter how menial and routine they seem) contribute to a mission; knowing my worth and what I am capable of; and the friendships I have gained. In addition, juggling tasks and knowing one’s way through the maze were essential skills to thrive.

My current reality is a complete breakaway from the previous one, but one that I am settling into, surprisingly, quite well. I have shifted to a new career where the pay is pure love. Colleagues at work gifted me with a framed photo of myself with my kids. At the bottom of the photo appears this quote by Vermont: "Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs...since the payment is pure love."

I now have the luxury of time when both my children are at school. I want to write to keep myself (or rather my brain) occupied somehow. Before, I would say that it was hard to develop a hobby as what time I had left I just wanted to use (or rather not use) to stare blankly into space, to relax my mind and body. Now, there’s a regular window of time and space when and where I could be productive on my own terms, do what I want, read and write some.

Writing would mean keeping a journal of milestones and personal musings about anything and everything that interest me. And what motivates me to write is that I could share my thoughts through this blog. I might not ever fall into the category of professional bloggers because my posts revolve around my little world, self-centered by nature. But this channel has always given me some motivation and sense of satisfaction to put my thoughts into writing and share a piece of me to the world, to reach out somehow.

I would attempt to have this blog evolve from one that is so Cess-centered to one that is more topic-oriented. There’s only my limited experience to call upon as I dare put out some personal reviews and recommendations about stuff. To start, I would like to contribute to the online pool of personal experiences/stories of families raising children with ADHD. I have not done so yet as I need to first dive into tons of information available, and get a handle on the subject.

You may have noticed that there are tabs at the top of this blog, but if you go into them, you will find that there’s nothing there yet. I will try and build their contents in the days and months ahead.

For the meantime, I am happily trying my hands at cooking and gardening, aside from taking care of my family. In the process, I surprise even myself.

As I slowly immerse in this new chapter of my life, I vow to put in half an hour of workout each day, as this SAHM (stay-at-home mom) chapter also affords me a lot of time to think “food.”

I am having the time of my life! I hope my happiness rubs off on everyone around me.

Blogging

Hello blogspot! It’s been years since I last signed in, and I'm so pleased and inspired with the new "stats" feature that now comes for free. Writing is not as fun as when you know that somebody out there, maybe in Europe or in some other continent, has chanced upon your blog and actually liked the stuff you have put out. Regardless of how readers are affected, if at all, or if they get something from your writings, raves, and rants, it is still humbling that somebody has taken the time to look at them. As one doctor-psychologist told me recently, every person is guilty of the KSP syndrome (kulang sa pansin - or wanting in attention).

My blogs are just an outlet of my thoughts and feelings. Not the professional sort that gets a lot of traffic. But, "acromegalic princess" (see link on the right) got quite a lot of hits from many places via different search engines and referrals. That’s what I’ve just discovered yesterday, which is the reason why I am now writing, wanting to somehow update my two blogs. I joined blogspot in 2007 when I needed a support group to understand the condition (acromegaly) I was diagnosed with. I found great support from the group of acromegaly bloggers who actively share experiences about the shock of getting diagnosed with this rare disease, compare symptoms, and discuss treatments. I had two surgeries and have been in remission since my last surgery in 2009. As there has not been much to share since, I haven’t been posting updates.

So after being silent for years, I am struggling to get something out that would be of interest. Recently, I have helped my 10-year-old son, Garrett, to start his own blog. Initially, I helped him post several of his writings, one was a poem he did as part of his English class requirements, and the others were essays or lists he did on his own time and inclination. Ever since he has learned to read (at kindergarten), he has been reading a lot. I don’t know how he has become such a voracious reader. It has come to the point when we would punish him for some misbehaviours by not allowing him to read. And reading got him into writing. He would ask for notebooks and pens as gifts. I kind of knew he had a knack for writing because as early as when he was in Grade 2, his English compositions were written quite well. I would proudly show his English notebook to his aunts, and they would be impressed.

Some friends, seeming doubtful, have asked if it was really Garrett writing the posts on his blog. He’s that good! And I will not deny it out of humility. He really is. I, too, am impressed. He writes from his heart, unreserved, candid and carefree. That’s why his writings are such a joy to read. I am happy when some friends and relatives would say they are Garrett’s fans. Well, I can proudly say I am his biggest fan! http://agarrettlubag.wordpress.com

So there! Easily, this has become about Garrett. I’ve written about him before, and would like to share that again here (see 2005 entry). Many have read it already, but whenever I read it again, I become more thankful, more appreciative, and it helps remind me of my mission – to raise a child, and raise him well.