Dilemma

Note: Reposted from my friendster blog; originally posted June, 2005.

Career or family? Which would you choose? This spells dilemma when you’ve just started a family at about the same time that your career is perking up with more attractive opportunities. If you’re a woman, weighing the pros and cons tends to tip the scale in favor of family matters. Unfair it may seem, but I think that it just simply is the natural order of things—the woman takes care of the house while the man earns a living.

So, where does that leave me? Am I breaking any biblical tenet here, wanting to have a career aside from that of being a wife and a mother? Am I making a mistake of trying to balance the scale somehow?

Now, why am I pondering these things? Why am I throwing these questions at you? Why am I boring you with my problems? Nothing, really. I merely want to think and write my thoughts while I’m at it. It’s because I’m now almost 30, and I feel that my professional growth has been stunted somehow in my present occupation. I’ve this nagging desire to explore my options while there’s time.

The wisdom I always call upon in sorting things in my mind is that your children would inevitably be independent, capable of doing things for themselves on their own. Your role as a mother would ultimately just be limited to providing guidance. A child will eventually outgrow his constant need for your presence. And when that time comes, what would keep you busy? Could you spend so many hours day in and day out doing routine chores in the house? That scenario is exactly my greatest fear.

That’s why I chose to maintain a job after giving birth. But, now that my firstborn is almost three years old, rather than having another baby, I feel like focusing on finding that career which is a snug fit to my skills, a career I could grow old having…

I want to raise a family but I also want to build a career… A dilemma. But choosing both might be the wise decision. What do you think?

Farewell, UPLB

Note: Reposted from my friendster blog, originally posted in Dec., 2005

This is really “it.” I’ve turned in my resignation yesterday. And this morning, I got a surprise call on my cell phone from the University Chancellor himself asking me about it. Well, he just happens to be the new Chancellor, I guess. Just several months back, prior to his appointment, I gave his name as a reference in my failed application at CIP (it’s not important that I spell that out). And he wrote a very nice recommendation letter for me. He even gave me a copy when he saw me one time at his office. I was flattered. And although I did not get the post I applied for, it was a consolation that people like him saw me in the way that he did. Sad that I’ll be leaving the university I’ve been with the last eight and a half years now that he’s just assumed office. Well, it’s already sad that I’m leaving to start with, but to leave at this particular time makes it a tad more saddening.

I am going around the campus now to have my clearance sheet signed by various offices. My resignation will take effect 31 December. Not that I’m too eager to be out of this place; I just want all things prepared ahead of time to avoid any last-minute fuss.

University of the Philippines Los Baños (UPLB). My home. I first saw light here in 1975. I was brought to Manila when I was four years old, came back in 1990, went away again for a year. Then, started my college here in 1992. Got my first job here. Had a chance to leave and work in Manila but preferred to come back. Fell in love and eventually got married here. Had our wedding at the National Arts Centre in Mt. Makiling. Gave birth to my son at the Los Banos Doctors Hospital. Essentially then, I have spent half of my life here.

Now, a new job is going to take me to Manila once more. For the meantime, we will keep our apartment here. Whereas, now I could jump out of bed as late as 7:30 in the morning and still be in office at 8:15, come January I’d have to wake up no later than 5:00 a.m. and be out of the house at 5:30 a.m. I might probably get home at 8 p.m. if I leave Manila at 5:30 p.m. These are among a number of trade-offs I’d have to live with for an entry-level local staff position in a multi-lateral organization in Ortigas.

I’m all excited. Yes, the pay, plus the benefits, is one big factor for my leaving UPLB for another organization. Change in work environment is another. The opportunity for career advancement may be another, although I prefer to take things one at a time for now.

UPLB remains in my heart as an ideal place to settle in. Opportunities are just too limited for the many professionals who have chosen to reside here. Professional competition is tough. In fact, a Ph.D. degree in this scientific community has already become ordinary. A faculty cannot be given tenure unless he’s obtained his doctorate degree. I guess, my place is just not here, profession-wise, mainly because I am not a faculty member. I’m no research scientist either. And getting a Ph.D. is the last thing on my mind right now after completing my master’s just last April.

So to UPLB, many thanks… For the quality education and professional training. For the nice and many intellectually challenging people. For the gifts of nature that have calmed my soul on many occasions. For the feeling of safety I could not feel anywhere else. For that sense of familiarity with everything here. My heart is yours. My life has been shaped by momentous events that you have been witness to. You shall be my resting place when my time comes… I’ll be back to stay forever…

Graduating with a master's degree in development communication from UPLB.

With fellow development communication graduates.