It's August

Today’s the first of August. We are now into the eight month of 2013! Amazing how time flies, seasons change, children grow, and, well, how some things remain unchanged. Here in the Philippines, August is just a month that brings us closer to the “ber” months of the Christmas season. There is practically no hype that comes with August, except for the celebration of the Linggo ng Wika in schools, and one public holiday to commemorate the National Heroes’ Day. 

On the contrary, August is said to be the month when hardship with finances strikes. The elderly used to say in local lingo, “Na-Agostohan na naman kami.” This is one of many Filipino phrases that have no exact translation/equivalent in other languages. It associates bad luck with money with this time of the year.

I double checked if August might have exciting events in other parts of the world, and here are some answers that our go-to Wikipedia provided:

•  6 August is Independence Day in Jamaica since 1962
• 9 August is the National Day of Singapore.
• 15 August is Indian Independence Day since 1947.
• 14 August is Pakistan's Independence Day since 1947.
•  In many European countries, August is the holiday month for most workers
• The Philippines celebrates August as the "Month of Philippine Languages"
• In the United States, August is National Back to School month.

From the site wiki.answers.com, I got this: “A whole lot of nothing happens in August, there are no major holidays or events, and besides the heat and blazing August sun, a big bowl of NOTHING happens!! (except most kids start school in late august) but no one cares about that!!!”

So August is not really a favorite month for many. Except for a few countries marking their independence, it seems it is just another month to go past until we get to December.

I would however disagree to that wiki answer. August heralds two special events in my family. It is the birth month of my eldest sister (Ate) and my paternal grandfather (Lolo). They used to celebrate their birthdays a week apart, Ate on the 1^st and Lolo on the 8^th. Lolo passed away 12 days after his 80^th birthday back in 2000.

I am convinced that the alignment of cosmic or celestial bodies at the time of one’s birth does affect the traits and characteristics that become inherent in that individual. Why? Well, Lolo and Ate are a case in point. They both share the positive Leo traits: magnanimousness, self-awareness, dignity, exhibiting majesty or grand, optimism, romantic, dedicated.

Lolo was so loved by all his grandchildren (or apos). There was something about him that naturally drew us to him. He always had a little something (pasalubong) for his apos. I would stay for a few weeks in Los Banos during summer vacation, and Lolo would be the one most excited. He would go to the market everyday to buy our favorite ulam, go out of his way to cook popcorn the crude way, and give us money to buy halo-halo and merienda (snacks). When my youngest sister, Diane, came over for a vacation while I was already staying with Lolo during college, she, too, was treated to Lolo’s brand of hospitality. He brought Diane in one of his daily trips to the market, and introduced her to his favored market vendors (suki), proud of his apo. When we were older, Lolo would give each of us money as Christmas gift to buy new clothes.

Lolo’s memories almost always bring me to tears. How wonderful it would have been had he lived longer and seen my own children. I could imagine how crazy he’d be over buying stuff from the market for Garrett and Gabee. He would have spoiled them as he had spoiled us.

Thinking more about Lolo, it was not only Lolo’s generosity that made him loved by people around him. More than that, I think, is the way he deals with people. He, like Ate, had a knack at social skills. They could easily converse, mingle, and get along with anyone at any place. It’s like they have no hang-ups, they are sure of themselves, and they’ve got no insecurities. Most importantly, they don’t think negatively of the people they meet. They take a positive perspective, hence, they easily get along with just about anyone.

Lolo thought he could always go back to his friends for help, maybe because that was one tenet he lived by. He would have no second thoughts helping you (whoever you are), but when the time comes that he also needs your help, he may come to you and ask a favor. It’s as simple as that.

Once, Lolo decided he would seek out Mayor Alfredo Lim to ask for help with his papers pertaining to his pension. He and Mayor Lim used to be classmates (not sure how they came to be related, but it had something to do with army training). Lolo retired as Master Sergeant. He taught ROTC at UP Los Banos. Indeed, he would go to his friends for help, and help he usually got. My last name afforded me some level of favor from some of my college professors who recalled Sgt. Omana as their kind-hearted ROTC instructor.

Ate reminds me a lot of Lolo. She has his legacy of generosity and integrity, and she is very much a people person like Lolo. Oh, and I almost forgot, both are maporma. They dress to impress, I think. Lolo was very particular over how his pants were iron-pressed and how shiny his shoes were. Ate buys way too many clothes, bags, and shoes than her closets can accommodate. But that’s good in a way as my sisters and I get lots of hand-me-downs. :-)

On this first day of August, we fondly remember Lolo, and give thanks to God for Ate Arlene’s birthday.

Below is a bit more information about what the stars tell of Ate and Lolo, which might interest you more if you were born under the sign Leo.

If your star sign is Leo, you are a proud person, with a strong sense of integrity 
and the importance of being true to yourself. It's the major sun sign, 
where the sun is said to be the ruler, so it's natural for you to shine.

If you were born in the beginning of August, the sun is in the middle of Leo. 
That means you don't need a very prominent position,
 but you want to be respected for what you are, 
and you tend to remain there as securely as if you were a statue. 
You don't bend. This is the fixed part of the sign, 
and since Leo's quality is fixed, people with their sun here are the most typical Leo, 
their traits easily recognizable, not to say blatantly obvious.

Source: http://www.leotraits.info/leohoroscopetraits.htm

P.S.: We are awaiting any time now the arrival of Kirsten Dylan, my niece. She will make August even more special. 

Warmest birthday greets from Gabee, Garrett, Bash, and Kirsten to Aunt Arlene.

Walang Ligawan

The following article, by a stroke of luck, got published in the Youngblood Section of Philippine Daily Inquirer in its Feb 10, 2000 issue. I retyped the piece (as published) so it could hopefully inspire people to fall madly in love--as doing so, I believe, is one of life's most wonderful events!

I submitted this piece with my pen name "Pise," to make it anonymous although some friends and relatives, who knew me by that nickname, guessed that I wrote it.

At the bottom of the article, the following information about me appeared:

Pise, 24, works as a research associate at the University of the Philippines Los Banos while pursuing a master's degree in development communication.

*******************************

If divorce were legal in this country, chances are our own statistics on divorce would approximate those of the United States. This thought leaves me wondering why, in the face of all the complexities that family life brings, I still cannot shake off my desire to be married.

I come from a broken home. But I was blessed to have a great woman for a mother. After my father deserted us, she picked up the pieces and strove to make us a family again. After some time, she met another man. And when they decided to live together, she brought me along.

I was only five then. My two older sisters stayed on with my lolo and lola, while my stepfather helped my mother raise me and paid for my education. Now, I have a 15-year-old sister by him, and she is the angel in the family.

To the credit of my mother as well as my stepfather and my grandparents, my sisters and I finished school. All of us are now gainfully employed.

The separation of my parents was not as traumatic to me as it was to my sisters. I don't harbor any resentment against my father since I have very few memories of him. One thing I am sure of is that he was good-looking and he welcomed the attention the girls gave him. It still amuses me to dig up from my lola's baul old pictures of him and his girlfriends.

My father took after my lolo, who also could not resist a temptress. My lolo was a soldier, and he had a wife wherever he was assigned, my lola said. And like my father, he had children by other women.

My eldest sister will be turning 33 this year. My father's youngest child is just three years old. If he had remained faithful to my mother, he could have retired by now. Well, I suppose his six other children are now his source of pride and joy.

Still, it's quite sad that he will not be the one to walk me down the aisle when the time comes. I think it's proper that the one who raised me and sent me to school be the one to give my hand away. When my eldest sister got married, it was lolo who marched with her. We sent father an invitation, but he didn't come.

Let me make it clear that it is not my intention to tarnish my father's name. Our family's history was never a secret. The truth might hurt a little, but we have come to terms with the past and I am happy with the way things turned out for all of us.

What I would like to write about is my fetish for marriage, which is quite strange since I know from experience the risks attached to it. I've been nagging my boyfriend to take me to the altar. And for about two years now, the talk about our wedding has spread like an infection. Wherever I go, people ask, “Is it true? When?” I guess the blame is on me because my standard reply is, “Yes, it will be soon.”

But I give that answer only to stop any further inquiries. It's hard to find excuses for why we still have not settled on a date.

The truth is, it's not only the date that my boyfriend and I are still trying to agree upon. There are a multitude of other details we have to thresh out.

He wants a simple wedding with only a selected few in attendance, I want all those who would like to come to be invited. He wants to hold the wedding in some faraway province to discourage guests from coming, I want everyone to celebrate with us.

He has other weird ideas, but I think he is just using them to send me one message: “Wait a minute, girl. I am not ready yet!” He insists that we should tell our guests to come in very casual wear (read: jeans and shirts), reasoning that he hates formal weddings where guests need to dress up and watch their manners. He says he wants everyone to feel happy and at ease during the wedding.

But his craziest idea yet is to indicate in our wedding invitation that we do not expect gifts, but instead, we will be charging an entrance fee for the reception. To me, that's a surefire formula to to turn our would-be guests away. It is enough to make me cry whenever we discuss our wedding plans. So it is not surprising that while there has been much talk about our engagement, we have no definite plans until this time.

My boyfriend and I had an unconventional courtship. We were in the same batch in college and took the same course. At first, we were not even civil to each other. I thought he was too arrogant, but I had to admit that he was charming. He did not seem to notice that I existed and so I also did not take much notice of him.

Then after our graduation, circumstances forced us to be together. Our work took us to many provinces in Luzon. During the long trips we had to make, we would engage in casual chats while stuck together in a van for hours on end, and often ended exchanging barbs.

After the trips, he would, in his own unique style of storytelling, tell Kleng and Marlon (who happened to be my “sis” and “brod,” respectively, in a college organization) how much he hated me but would later admit he could not deny that I was affecting him. In my case, after spending several days and nights with him, I discovered with great surprise that he was a good and intelligent person. My disgust slowly melted and a deep admiration took its place.

Then one day, while our officemates, Alvin and Locel, were doing a survey in a distant province, I was left in the office with him. He asked me out after work. The timing was perfect as I could no longer contain the feelings I had been suppressing for months.

We went out and after gulping down a bottle of beer and a glass of margarita, I was instantly consumed by the alcohol, and the floodgates were opened. So there I was confessing how much I hated him for not showing any interest in me. I was gesticulating wildly while I told him everything. The sight of me acting drunk caught the attention of the bar owner who decided to come to our table with a cup of coffee, free of charge, to sober me up. But it was not the coffee that made me sober (I did not even touch it), it was the embarrassment. So we left the place in a hurry and went to a playing field in a nearby school campus.

It was his turn to make a revelation. He said he was afraid to admit that he was falling for me but since I had already told him my feelings, there was no point in keeping his own to himself. We sat on a bench for several hours, telling each other about all the things that were important to us, including our families.

That eventful night of August 12, 1996 became the official date of our anniversary. We felt that it would be ridiculous to go through the process of ligawan as we aleady knew what the answer would be. Thus for a long time, our friends in the office had no idea that we were already going steady. I could not let them know since that did not even see him court me.

After that night, I knew in my heart that he was the one for me. I felt how good God could really be. I was not expecting such a beautiful blessing, He gave it to me unexpectedly. Amid all the chaos in the world, life is full of wonderful surprises.

I have been in this heady state of being in love for about four years now. And each day I thank God for entrusting me to a man I know I will one day marry. Meeting him changed my perspective on marriage. I have no worries about what lies ahead. I trust him completely. He makes me want to grab the future and build my own family as soon as possible.

I know my boyfriend is still hesitating to take the plunge, but I know that he wants to do it as much as I do. And now that everyone we know will start anticipating our wedding on account of this article, he might just be finally convinced to take me for his wife.