Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Mulling on white space amidst greens

White space. How do I start filling it? What does inspire me to write, here, right now? Let’s see.

I hear children’s noise. It’s 3:47 pm. I am inside the car, parked outside Garrett’s school. With the car windows rolled down, I hear as well birds and crickets in chorus, and feel the soft breeze on my face. The school is on top of a hill, situated in a nice (posh) subdivision in Antipolo. Big, old trees line the roads. I see green everywhere. I think I have found my spot, a perfect spot to mull things over and write.

It’s easy to write about Garrett. Well, because he’s special in many ways. I had a conference with his class adviser last week. His teacher remarked that Garrett is the type of student that makes a solid impression on the teacher, the kind that when she’s old, she’d still be able to recall and say, “Yeah, that’s Garrett. He was my student.”

Oh, well, this again is becoming about Garrett. I have been meaning to write about Gabee, my daughter. True that it was because of Garrett that I decided finally to give up work. On hindsight, it had been already a year or so since my husband and I started discussing about the scenario where I’d take a few years off from work while the kids are growing. The option that we shift to the traditional family set-up scared me. I was scared (rightly so) to give up a career which affords me leverage in almost everything. I was earning and had all kinds of insurance. I could raise my kids in the event that the marriage falls apart. Ego. I think I had a bloated one. ☺

But the decision to quit came swiftly when we learned that Garrett has ADHD, and has to be put on medication. I acquiesced that I had to give up the work that I was holding on to more for my own sake. It was not as difficult as I had anticipated quitting would be. I think it’s because it was made for the right reasons. Family comes first.

Below is Garrett's photo taken recently. He is growing fast. Moving forward into puberty, I intend to be by his side, all ears for him, looking upon him up close and from afar as he needs me.

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